Communicate effectively online
At TJA we have always believed the best leadership is grounded in a spirit of collaboration and love. As our world reels from the uncertainty of an unprecedented moment, we need more than ever to rise to the challenge of a pandemic by leading together.
But the very nature of a pandemic means we have to distance ourselves physically from each other. How do we still lead collaboratively? How do we practice compassion, when we are apart?
As we increase our distance physically, we have to decrease our distance psychologically.
There have been many great articles published recently on best practices and tools to support remote work (including this great piece by our friend Barbara Pantuso). Our goal here is not to rehash those, but to offer some insights from social science for creating meaningful connection with your teams and organizations online.
Consider these insights the next time you schedule a meeting or draft an email to your colleagues.
1 | Intent is easily lost—and we presume too much. So be conscientious.
One major pitfall of computer mediated communication is its tendency to lead to misunderstanding—a finding especially pronounced in text-only communication (1). When we communicate with others in person, we rely on multiple sources of information—both verbal and nonverbal—to decipher messages.
Body language, facial expressions, and eye contact are all critical nonverbal cues that become lost or muddied when communicating online. Similarly, the tone of a message can become unclear when conveyed through text only—turning what may have been intended as a playful remark into a hurtful comment. Add to this the fact that people tend to believe they’re better at communicating online than they actually are (2), and we’re left with the perfect recipe for misunderstanding. Keep this in mind the next time you’re drafting an email or chatting with someone via text. When in doubt, avoid sarcasm, be as direct as possible, state your intent up front, and ask clarifying questions if you aren’t sure how to interpret something someone else said.
Ask yourself:
Is my intent abundantly clear?
Could my message be misinterpreted by others?
Am I choosing the right channel to communicate this message?
2 | The online experience is different for different people. So use more empathy when running online meetings and communication.
Not everyone has the same style or attitudes toward communicating online. For some, online communication is preferred to face-to-face interactions; for others, it’s more effortful. Dr. Jenna Clark’s research (3) underscores the importance of considering individual differences within the context of online communication. She finds that those who believe online communication serves as a valuable tool for growing high quality relationships act differently online. They’re more willing to self-disclose and to offer others support within online interactions, leading to more positive evaluations of the conversation as a whole. In this way, it seems that a person’s attitudes toward online communication may serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy—you get from an interaction what you expect from it.
Ask yourself:
What are my own attitudes toward online communication?
What are the attitudes of my audience?
How might I use online communication to strengthen our relationship?
3 | Unspoken norms from the real world can inhibit how you interact online. So create explicit new ones.
Existing norms of communication influence how your family, community, and organization responds to this moment. If you’re not used to online collaboration, you may find it hard to match your normal assumptions to a very different context, and you may not behave in a collaborative way. And teams who are used to holding meetings virtually will have less difficulty adjusting compared to those accustomed to in-person gatherings.
So if you find yourself in the latter group, consider having an expectation-setting conversation about the norms of online interactions, so that everyone gets the most from a new medium. These norms might range from broad principles of interaction (e.g., “Assume positive intent” since it’s harder to read body language) to tactical behaviors (e.g., “Always be on mute unless you’re talking” since feedback from microphones is distracting).
Most importantly, don’t assume others have the same expectations of the group interaction as you do. Check your assumptions and work together as a group to turn any implicit beliefs into explicit commitments.
Ask yourself:
What existing norms are we unconsciously bringing to this moment?
What promises shall we make to one another, to be at our best together?
How will we hold each other accountable to those norms?
Lead bravely,
Laura Kurtz, PhD
(1) Byron, K. (2008). Carrying too heavy a load? The communication and miscommunication of emotion by email. Academy of Management Review, 33(2), 309–327.
(2) Kruger, J., Epley, N., Parker, J., & Ng, Z. W. (2005). Egocentrism over e-mail: Can we communicate as well as we think?. Journal of personality and social psychology, 89(6), 925.
(3) Clark, J. L., & Green, M. C. (2018). Self-fulfilling prophecies: Perceived reality of online interaction drives expected outcomes of online communication. Personality and Individual Differences, 133, 73-76.
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